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Writer's pictureAdam Woytila

Partners in Crime: The Reconditioning

Updated: Oct 24, 2021



Imagine a world where one in every three people are born with incredible superpowers, with only themselves to choose whether they use it for the better of themselves or others, or for purely selfish gain. Now imagine a city within that world. One where the latter greatly tipped the scales to their side. That city exists, and it used to go by a different name, but now is only known as Rottenheim. The name was given to the city as the supervillain problem became so bad, that anyone who called themselves a hero simply gave up, allowing them to run amuck unchecked.


Sounds like a paradise for these crooked powerhouses, doesn't it? Having no one to oppose them as they commit any crime they wanted. At first, it was great! But it didn't take long for them to grow bored with their newfound freedom. They got what they wanted so easily, and without a chipper hero's smile to try and punch in as they did so. And making matters worse, there was one notorious individual, even among them, who basically ran the place anyway. And that is when a sinister idea came to fruition: If there were no heroes to challenge them, they'd instead challenge each other, by establishing a social hierarchy where the villains fight for the spot of top dog! The pro: The villains were no longer bored. The con: Rottenheim was now even more of a hell to live in.


This system had been in place for what felt like years, and holding a long record for the top villain spot was a particularly cruel character, not even from this world: The Mastermind, a villain from a distant planet of world conquerors. As one can guess, while he relished the power he had over Rottenheim, his ambitions were set much higher, and he was always working on his next scheme for domination over the planet Earth! Unfortunately, he had very little time to actually enact these schemes, what with other villains constantly interrupting him with their futile efforts to dethrone him.


Upon studying the other notable supervillains of Earth, the Mastermind realized they all had something he didn’t: Minions! A group of lackeys to strike down anyone who gets in his way for him. It was a genius idea, except for the aspect that most villains would obviously try to double cross him whenever they get the chance. This meant he had to be very careful weeding out the applicants, finding ones who he could boss around without the backbone to fight back. It took a while, but eventually, he settled for three:


SHADY (Ellen Rigby), a master of the shadows;

MAGMAN (Marcus Kaine), a volcanic powerhouse;

and CLAIRE VOYANCE (Claire Goodrich), a telekinetic terror who couldn't come up with anything better for her alias.


With a terrible trio for him to command, the Mastermind was confident that he would be unstoppable! That is, until he actually saw them in action in a showdown against some security guards. It was here he saw Shady being more interested in scrolling on her phone than actually fighting, Claire being so timid that she put up a force field after merely flicking a pebble at them, and Magman's lava erupting on his boss rather than his targets. The failure of a fight scene made the news, where everyone became a lot calmer over the situation at Rottenheim.


"I mean who needs superheroes there anyway, if that's the worst they got?" famous comedian Ray Llamas joked as he presented some footage from the news, resulting in a roar of laughter from his audience. "Tell Mr. Grinch he should stick to stealing Christmas. Well, we'll be right back, our next guest's got a tap-dancing koala-"


The television was abruptly shut off by the Mastermind, who firmly held the remote in his hand as he looked back to his lackeys on the couch, glaring at them with underlying anger. Claire and Marcus both looked back at him, fearing for their lives. Meanwhile, Ellen kept nonchalantly scrolling through her messages.


"Now... do you see why I'm so upset?" the Mastermind abrasively asked.


"Because you hyped yourself up with unrealistic expectations?" said Ellen without turning away from her phone.


"No, Ellen." he replied. "Because I was expecting actually competent minions. Not a WIMP, a BUFFOON, and a LAZY PUNK GIRL!"


This got the shadow woman to look back at him. "This is not punk."


"I don't care what it is! The point is, your resumes said you were vile, and mean, and ruthless, and all of that remains to be seen!"


"Uh-um... Doesn't everyone put white lies on those?" Claire nervously muttered as she sank back into her seat.


"Look, I'll say anything if it gets me out of the slums." Ellen admitted.


"Okay, in my defense, I technically wasn't lying on mine." Marcus said. "I said I was bad with everything!"


"Bad AT everything isn't the SAME THING, YOU BOOB!" the Mastermind shouted, throwing the resume in his face, which burned up on contact with his hair. "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SIGN UP FOR THIS IF YOU KNEW YOU WEREN'T-!?"


"Can you please not yell...?" Claire nervously interrupted, clearly feeling anxious about the situation. But her comment only drew more ire from her boss, who was now intensely staring her down.


"I WILL YELL IF I WANT TO YELL!"


Claire flinched and held up her arms in defense, a bright orange aura suddenly emanating from them, which immediately enveloped the Mastermind. Next thing he knew he was flung into the air and slammed back-first against the ceiling, unable to move a finger.


"What the-?!" the Mastermind exclaimed. "CLAIRE! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! NOW!"


This shouting only caused her to panic more, shifting her arms to the side. Following her motions, the Mastermind flew into the corner wall. Realizing what she was doing to her boss only added onto her stress, which in turn only caused the alien to keep getting slammed left, right, up, and down. Once the Mastermind was finally forced down onto the floor, Claire remained frozen and took a deep breath, finally calming herself enough to release him. All of this was being recorded by Ellen, who didn’t hesitate to post it online for the world to see.


"Okay... That was awesome!" Marcus complimented.


"Uh - No, no it really wasn't..." Claire said, once again sinking down into the cushions.


“Hey, cut yourself some slack.” Ellen remarked. “It already got over two hundred views.”


Shakily, the Mastermind returned to his feet, gripping his forehead as he let out a pained groan. His annoyance with his lackeys was now at an all time high, to the point where he didn’t even want to consider making it work for him.


“E.M.I.L.Y.! Get in here!” he shouted. A couple of seconds passed with no response, which was enough to frustrate him further. “E.M.I.L.Y.!!!”


“Alright, alright, don’t blow a fuse!” replied a metallic voice with a hint of a Sicilian accent as into the room rolled the Mastermind’s robotic maid, E.M.I.L.Y. (Efficient Machine In L-Something Y-I’ll-Figure-Out-The-Rest-Later). “Whattya want?”


"I want THEM out of here!" the Mastermind ordered. "And get me some actually competent minions!"


"And ya still want that filter on?" the robot asked.


"Of course I want it on!"


"Well, then this is the best you're gonna get."


"WHAT?!"


"Look, I've been processing background checks for two days straight, and these schmucks are the only ones that actually just want a job. Everyone else was an obvious double-crosser. So if ya don't want risk, you're not gettin' reward neither." E.M.I.L.Y. talked back, forming her hand into an oversized vacuum. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to cleaning up lava in the kitchen. Which is a bit above my paygrade, hot shot."


"Sorry..." said Marcus as she rolled away. He then turned to the alien, getting off the sofa. "Uh, Mr. Mastermind, sir, please give me another chance! I know I screwed up but, this is the only thing I've ever been good at."


"Well, that's just pitiful." he remarked.


Claire let out a sigh and also stood up. "I-I don't like it, but I need this job too." she said. "Or at least a job that won't fire me over these dumb powers... even though you're firing us for... other reasons..."


With a pause of silence, everyone glanced back toward Ellen, who was now just lounging on the couch by herself, still scrolling through her phone. She briefly glanced away, noticing her cohorts staring at her. "Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, and this also means a lot to me, or whatever we're talking about."


The Mastermind let out a disgruntled groan. "Alright... I can work with this. We just need to do a little... reconditioning."

 

Meanwhile, in an underground base not too far from Rottenheim, there lied a giant robot, themed after a hive and honey combs, and working on said robot was another group of four that were all decked out in yellow and black armor, reminiscent of bees. This crew consisted of a young woman with short cut blonde hair, two men, one chubby and one skinny with a Salvador Dali moustache, and a girl who looked no older than two being carried in the former man’s arms. The woman finished her work on the large robot, shutting a hatch and holding up a remote for summoning it, should it be needed. She turned toward her cohorts, looking over them with authority.


“Alright, let’s check: Honey blasters?” the woman commanded.


“Check!”


“Stingers?”


“Check!”


“Snacks for Honey?”


“Graham crackers and carrot sticks, as you requested ma’am!” the stouter male member confirmed.


“Good, good…” she continued, turning away and looking upon the giant mech. “Time to show Mastermind who’s boss then! Rottenheim will belong to the Battle Bug Bee Brigade!”


Upon her announcing their title, the four crooks posed dramatically… Even though the toddler fell flat on her face as she tried to do so. Seeing this, one of the other members reached over and lifted her back to her feet to continue her pose. The brigade made it clear they were on a mission; Their wills indominable, their fighting spirit strong, and their suits fashionable. No one was going to stand in their way!

 

The Mastermind lead his newly acquired (without any better options) lackeys down a long corridor into the cellars below his lair, where lied a giant mechanical door. He needed only to point at a device nearby, generating green tinted electricity from his suit to shock it open. Inside was a massive area containing a wide array of technology that looked like nothing from Earth.


"You see, back on my home planet, everyone gets put through a state-of-the-art training regimen within a specialized room.” the Mastermind explained. “And this… is not one of those rooms, but the closest I could get with Earth’s currency. But this program will mold you into planet dominating machines, just like it did me!”


“Wait, but you didn’t take over the world yet.” Marcus pointed out. “So… does that mean this won’t work for us then? Or that you can already do that? ‘Cause if so, what do you need us for-?”


"WELL, guess SOMEONE'S not as willing to keep their job as I thought." the villain interrupted, making the Magman quickly shut up.


"Is... all of this really necessary?" Claire spoke up.


"Yes, it is!" he answered. "I'm not going to have my reputation tainted any further by mediocre minions! By the time we're done, you'll be molded into the meanest mooks the world won't be prepared for! Now, let's begin!"

 

Ellen was up first to endure the Mastermind’s training. She stood in the center of a large area surrounded by glass walls, projectors, and other pieces of technology that looked ripped straight out of a budget sci-fi film, and all she wanted was to get it over with.


"Alright, so what do you want me to do?" she said. "Knock over some old gran? Steal candy from a baby?"


"Oh, no, that's tier 2." the Mastermind said from behind a safe room, punching in some keys to create a holographic image of a police officer. "We're starting even smaller. You're going to steal that guy's wallet!"


"And you chose a pig for that?" she questioned further. "Even that's giving 'em too much respect."


"Come on!" he egged on. "I thought you punk kids were all about raging against the man or whatever!"


"First, I'm 22, second, again, it's not punk-"


"I don't care, just get busy!"


Ellen rolled her eyes, but soon after grinned with a mischievous idea. The shadows enveloping her hands began to shift and shape themselves, with one wrapping around the hologram, but the other slinking its way into the safe room and opening one of the Mastermind's pocket hatches, snatching a leather case from within it. After a few seconds of fiddling, Ellen held up the wallet with a nonchalant "Done it."


"Excellent!" the Mastermind congratulated, before he looked at his monitor and noticed it informing him that the wallet hadn't been removed from the hologram. "Huh?"


"'Mlxurphlt'?" Ellen read from the ID, struggling to pronounce it. "Well dang, was hoping for something funnier."


"WHAT THE-?! YOU GIVE THAT BACK!"


"Wow, you never told us your mum was a hottie."


"ELLEN! I SAID GIVE THAT BACK YOU LITTLE-!"

 

Claire was next in line for her reconditioning, and to say she wasn't looking forward to it would be the understatement of the century. Her eyes darted around the training room nervously, as two drones emitting holographic projections of superheroes stood tall over her.


"Alright, Claire, given the emotional aspect of your powers, I want you to get angry here!" the Mastermind said. "Channel those powers into pure, unadulterated rage!"


"Rage... Okay, I can do that..." Claire said before she took a deep breath and leaned forward, baring her teeth and straining herself to get angry to absolutely no avail.


"I said get angry, not constipated." the Mastermind commented.


"I'm sorry, this really isn't my territory here..." she admitted.


This prompted the Mastermind to enter the training area himself, in order to personally assure things going to his plan.


"Oh come on, there's gotta be something to get your blood boiling!" he exclaimed. "Think about your father, how he never believed in you and saw you as a burden!"


"Uh... Actually, I got along fine with my dad." she said.


"Oh... Um, okay then, think of those bullies who picked on you for being different!"


"Back in middle school? I don't want to hold a grudge for that long."


The Mastermind simply frowned at her, starting to grow frustrated with the lack of progress being made. "Think about that time you spilled coffee on yourself."


"That's... not really worth getting angry over."


"GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH, CLAIRE!" he suddenly bellowed, causing Claire to flinch in fright, with her powers kicking in and grabbing ahold of him. "Not again-"


The Mastermind was slammed hard against the ceiling once more, but this time, he immediately got flung around and smashed into one of the droids, then rebounded off the wall to destroy the other with enough force to leave behind a crater, one where he laid unconcious. Claire came to immediately after, her eyes sinking in at the damage she's done.


"Well... I did it..." she said, chuckling nervously.

 

Finally, it was Marcus' turn in the ring, being poised with a simple combat challenge. And unlike his cohorts, he was raring and ready to go.


"Y'know what, boss, just crank it up to eleven on this one!" Marcus boasted.


"Uh, yeah, no." the Mastermind replied, bandages now covering the cracks in his armor. "I've seen how much of a bumbling buffoon you are first hand."


"Hey, that was like... two hours ago!" he defended. "C'mon man, I can handle it!"


The Mastermind rolled his eyes, but cracked a wicked grin, figuring it'd be cathartic to let someone else take the beating this time. "Alright, if you insist." he said as he put his hand on the lever and pushed it all the way up.


Immediately, Marcus was surrounded by droids and holograms, all built to resemble different superheroes. It only took him a few seconds for him to start getting overwhelmed as they all defaulted to attack mode.


"OKAY I CAN'T HANDLE IT I CAN'T HANDLE IT-!" Marcus panicked as he began frantically running around the room, much to his superior's sadistic delight.


But Marcus knew he couldn't go down in such a foolish way as he was trying to prove himself. So, with new found determination, he used the momentum he built up from running to leap into the air and stomp down, causing a massive geyser of lava to burst through the floor. This was followed up by his own hands being coated with the hot substance, shooting it out left and right, each with an exasperated grunt. The temperature only got higher and higher with no sign of cooling down, until Marcus had to make himself stop to catch his breath. Once the action finally cleared up, Marcus was panting hard, but he let out a celebratory cheer, thinking he had emerged from the trial unscathed.


...Only for him to look at his surroundings, discovering that not only had he only taken out one of the targets, but the entire training facility was reduced to a molten mess. He looked over to the Mastermind's (now not so) safe room, where Claire had casted a forcefield to protect herself and Ellen, all while the alien's armor was being melted off by loose droppings of magma that scorched him yet again. He glared at the Magman with nothing but annoyance.


"Marcus..." the Mastermind asked slowly. "Do you have any idea how expensive this facility was?"


Marcus sheepishly looked back at his boss. "Uh... hundred bucks...?" he said with a shrug.


In response, the Mastermind cranked up the handle to one level more, as it was one of the only controls that were left unscathed. This caused the droids and holograms to reactivate and dogpile over Marcus, tackling him to the ground and showing no mercy.


"OW! OOCH! GAH! UNCLE! UNCLE!"

 

"Okay, so, you three are not... completely hopeless. But that still SUCKED!" the Mastermind ranted. "You're unmotivated, unwilling, unbelievably daft, and overall INCOMPETENT!"


"Hey, technically we all did what you asked of us." Ellen pointed out with her arms crossed.


"Yes, but 'technically' ain't gonna cut it!" he continued. "All of you are going to have to find a villain with lower standards to work with! Shouldn't be too hard, they're practically bursting through the walls around here."


BOOM!


Suddenly, as if fate had perfectly timed his analogy, the walls collapsed, and everyone’s attention was turned to the giant honey comb themed robot, followed by the four villains in yellow and black jumpsuits leaping down.


“Mastermind!” the woman in charge proclaimed. “Your time ruling Rottenheim is over!”


“Yeah, it’s time for real villains to take charge!” the stout male spoke.


“Especially after the dreadful display from the news!” the slimmer male added.


The toddler attempted to add on to her partners' claims, but her words were muffled by her pacifier. Not that she was really capable of adding to the conversation, anyway.


In spite of the unexpected transaction, the Mastermind wasn’t worried by the sudden intrusion, however. He instead cracked a wicked grin, confident this batch of bad guys would fail to overthrow him, just as many have before.


“You three want to prove yourselves?" he commanded. "Well, here's your chance to use everything you've learned!"


Claire spoke up, “Um... I don’t think we’ve learned anything…”


And so he paused, thinking back to all they’ve accomplished so far, and realizing she was correct. “…Darn it.”


"Sorry, who're you lot?" Ellen questioned to the gang that just crashed their party.


"We're the Battle Bug Bee Brigade!" the three main leads of the team announced, jumping down to their level and continuously giving off flashy poses as they introduced themselves.


Up first was the woman, who moved with elegance. "Queen! The stylish and deadly leader!"


Next was the stouter male figure. "Bumble! Buzzing with fury!"


Then the lankier man. "Wasp! Stinging at the speed of sound!"


"...and Honey!" they all announced as they stood aside, presenting the toddler with a bee-shaped pacifier in her mouth. She tried to give a flashy pose but fell onto her stomach yet again. While the Mastermind's party weren't intimidated, the adorable sight did warm Claire's heart.


"Uh, yeah, she's my little sister." Bumble admitted as he picked her up. "Mom doesn't like babysitters so I had to bring her along."


"And now, you three fools know the names of your new bosses!" Queen boasted. "The ones who will mold you into proper lackeys!"


"Good luck with that." the Mastermind remarked.

"Yeah, I think I actually take you guys less seriously." Ellen added on, catching her boss off guard.

"Oh yeah?" said Bumble. "Well how about you take THIS seriously!"

With a determined battle cry, the four bee-based bandits leapt into the air with stylish poses, each of them brandishing a different type of firearm. After taking aim, they all fired, shooting a sticky, golden substance out of them and directly hitting their targets... which caused a minor inconvenience. The four villains stopped bracing themselves as they realized it wasn't doing any lasting damage.


"Is this... actual honey?" Claire asked.

"Well of course!" proclaimed Wasp. "We have to be on brand, after all!"


"Why're you called 'Wasp' then?" Marcus questioned as he started licking at himself, tasting the honey.


"I just told you, the branding!"


"Wasps aren't related to bees, you twit." Ellen insulted, forcing a pause from the pilots.


"...Wait, really?"


The rest of the brigade simply glanced at each other with puzzled looks, before Queen snapped back to the current situation. "Don't let them distract us!" she commanded. "We got them right where we want them!"


The brigade rushed in, again letting out their battle cries as they prepared to deliver a series of fancy strikes and flying kicks to their opposition. However, the Mastermind needed only to raise a single finger and cast out a bolt of green electricity, hitting all four of them at once and causing them to drop to the floor like a rock. His lackeys were taken aback by how easily he managed to take them down.


"This... won't be... a shocking defeat... for long..." Wasp groaned.

"Can it." Queen snapped.

"You bee-brained buffoons really thought you stood a chance against me?" the Mastermind boasted as he wiped off the last of the honey coating him. "You're second-rate among the second-rate villains I've already struck down!"


"Yeah, now if you lead with the giant robot, you might've had a better shot!" Marcus added on pridefully, thinking he was hyping up his boss.


"Oh, yeah? Well-!" Queen was going to boast back, before she actually contemplated his words. "...Actually, that's a good idea. Battle Bug Bee Brigade, go to Plan B!"


"Yeah, you do that!" he continued, only to be punched in the side by the Mastermind. "Ow!"


The four pilots flipped backwards, moving as if they were flying, and seamlessly landed within the four different cockpits of their robot, which too struck a flashy pose upon activating. The four villains just looked back up at the giant automaton before them, its shadow completely engulfing them.


"You, uh... You think this changes anything?" the Mastermind called out. "You'll still have to go through my... minions..."


Upon saying that, he looked back at said minions, and then looked around them at the current state of his once pristine training facility. Marcus just rubbed the back of his head at the realization of his mistake. Claire just stared up at the robot in fear. And Ellen... still seemed to not care about the situation, as she was simply getting ready to record her boss' beatdown at the hands of the brigade.


"Oh, yeah... right..."


POW!


The Mastermind was suddenly met with the robot's giant foot kicking him, sending him flying backwards through the nearest wall, followed by the mech's arm cannon firing off another blast of honey - this time so much that it left him immobilized within the sticky, sweet prison. Marcus and Claire both looked up at the robot, only to be met with a giant punch that met them with much the same fate. As they tried to break free, the mech suddenly blasted the entrapped crooks with a wave of heat, hardening the honey and making escape even less possible.


"Ha-ha!" Wasp proclaimed. "Maybe the archaeologists will preserve you as our greatest trophies in a million years!"


"Man, that guy was right! Took those three out real easy!" said Bumble. "Maybe we shouldn't just use it for-"

"Wait, you mean four?" Queen interrupted.


"...What? No, there's three of them right..." he answered, only to look over their crystalized foes more closely. As he did so, a shadow emerged from the ground and slinked its way around the robot, eventually entering Bumble's cockpit and taking a more physical shape. "Oh wait, yeah, there was also the punk girl..."


"It's not punk." Ellen said as she fully materialized behind him.


"Oh, my bad." Bumble said, glancing behind him.


Upon double taking, he jumped back with a startled yelp, pressing himself up against the control panel as the shadow woman stood over him, forming one of her hands into a large club.


"Um... Would you flattered to know this is the closest I've ever been to a girl?" Bumble stammered. "That's not family or work related, anyway?"


She answered his question by sending the young pilot to be smashed through the window of his cockpit, falling several feet and landing hard on the ground below, much to the shock of his cohorts.


"BUMBLE!" Queen cried out. "Your death will not be in vain!"


"Uh, actually, I'm okay-"


"WE WILL AVENGE YOU! ACTIVATE EMERGENCY EJECTION IN THE LEFT SHOULDER!"


"You're the one with the master controls, Queen..." Wasp commented.


"RIGHT, I KNEW THAT!"


Queen flipped a switch, and an alarm went off in the station where Ellen stood, followed by her being suddenly launched out and landing on top of the defeated pilot. The robot raised its foot in an attempt to crush her, only for her to take the form of a shadow yet again to get out of the way. Bumble screamed and rolled out of the way in just enough time to avoid getting accidentally crushed. A few feet away from the impact, Ellen took on her physical form to regain her balance. Meanwhile, Ellen's cohorts were still trapped within their sticky prisons, unable to do anything more than just watch as Shady was taking on the hive themed automaton by herself.


"Well, aren't you two going to not be useless for a change?" the Mastermind mumbled, due to half his jaw being covered up.


"Uh... I can't really move right now..." Claire muttered back. "Whether or not I wanted to..."


"Alright, I'm gonna try something, stand back." said Marcus.


"We can't stand back, you nimrod!" the Mastermind insulted.


"Oh, right."


Marcus strained, trying his hardest to focus his energy, and as he did so the earth beneath him began to shake. Next thing they knew, a pillar of lava erupted from under his feet, effortlessly melting away the honey in seconds and releasing him from his sticky tomb. Marcus celebrated with a cheer as he coated his hand with magma, using it to try and melt Claire out of hers. As he did so, the lava came falling back down onto the Mastermind. This freed him as well, yes, but also left yet another suit of armor singed off and even more burns on his body.


"SERIOUSLY?! WHY?" the Mastermind shouted. "AM I JUST A MAGMA MAGNET OR SOMETHING?!"


"You mean a magmanet?" Marcus added, which only got him a dirty look from the conqueror. "...Sorry."


WHAPOOM!


Suddenly, Ellen flew backwards, right into Claire's honey casing, smashing them both through the wall completely. While this did shatter the hardened honey, leaving Claire free, both ladies struggled at first to get back up as they let out a pained groan. Everyone looked back up at the robot towering over them, with the brigade now more determined than ever to finish off their foes.


"Bet you losers think you're so clever, but the Battle Bug Bee Brigade will never know the meaning of defeat!" Queen proclaimed. "We'll claim the throne to Rottenheim, in memory of our beloved Bumble!"


"Again, I'm fine, I'm right here-" Bumble tried to interject, only for his words to go ignored once again.


"Honey, ready the stinger cannons!"


Honey reached over to her control panel, pressing a big blue button that revealed hidden artillery on the mech, showing what seemed like thousands of guns aimed at their opponents. Queen let out a wicked cackle, confident that her squadron now had the upper hand, in spite of their missing pilot. With their targets locked on, the Battle Bug Bee Brigade's mech opened fire on them. Ellen took on her shadow form and flattened herself onto the ground and Claire instinctively put up a force field, while Marcus and the Mastermind just had to duck to the side to avoid the barrage of stingers. Some cannons still trailed off to follow their separated targets, while the ones in its chest continued wailing away on the psychic.


The Mastermind tried to retaliate by firing electricity from his fingertips, only to come up short upon remembering that his armor was melted off. On the other end of the room, Marcus was also busy avoiding the barrage of stingers, ducking beneath the desk and punching into the floor. This sent a current of lava coursing through the ground, bubbling underneath the mech and bursting out into a geyser. The robot was toppled over, falling flat on its back. Finally getting a moment of clarity, Claire gave an exasperated sigh as she put down her forcefield, only to narrowly step aside from a puddle of lava dropping next to her.


She wasn't the only one to have narrowly dodged, as the Mastermind just barely avoided getting crushed by the falling robot. As he was about to take this opportunity to retaliate, he was suddenly tackled back to the ground by Bumble, who shouted "GLORY TO THE BATTLE BUG BEE BRIGA-!" before being casually thrown away by the alien. "Ow..."


Within the main cockpit, Queen was regaining herself from the sudden shake up, readying to get the mech back onto it's feet. "Wasp, Honey, report! Any damage?"


"Aside from almost getting my face burned off?" Wasp said, a hint of snark in his voice.


"Get a grip! These chumps are gonna beat us if we don't pull it together!"


Suddenly, the metal casing from above was torn off its hinges, and there stood the tattered Mastermind, looking down at her with a sinister smile.


"Oh, you'll need to pull something together when I'm done with you!" he proclaimed as he jumped in for some much needed revenge.


Outside, Ellen wrapped herself around the arm of the robot in an attempt to infiltrate Wasp's station, only for it to suddenly spring back to its feet when Queen was slammed against the controls, forcing the shadow woman to hang on for dear life. But the Mastermind's beatdown of the main pilot caused the machine to move erratically, with Wasp trying his best to get the arm steady and shaking her off in the process. Down below, Claire was running around, trying her best to not get crushed by a giant, mechanical foot, when Marcus took notice of her and formed a sphere of lava in his hands.


"Hey, Claire, head's up!" he called out as he lobbed it to her, only for the psychic to shout and block it with a force field.


"What was that for?!" she questioned.


"...Uh... You were... supposed to throw it back at... the robot..." Marcus explained.


"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST THROW IT AT THE ROBOT-?!"


BAM!


In Claire's panic, she was caught off guard and got knocked into the air from a backstep from the mech, giving Marcus a moment to reflect on his plan.


"Oh, yeah, I guess I coulda done that..."


Just before she could hit the ceiling, Claire caught herself, using her telekinetic powers to allow her to fly, turning back toward the action below as she witnessed the rest of her cohorts taking on the Brigade in their own ways. Finally getting herself situated on the wild machine, Ellen used her shadow form to once again breach one of the cockpit, the one in the chest. She emerged and prepared to lay a beatdown on the next pilot... only for Honey to look back at her with her large, sweet eyes, causing her to stop in her tracks.


"...Well, I'm not stooping that low." Ellen admitted.


Honey reached over to some buttons on her control panel, marked under a section labelled "IN CASE OF INTRUDERS". The first button she pushed caused a spring loaded boxing glove to deck Ellen across the face. The second caused a pot of honey to be dropped on her head. The third caused mechanical arms to come out and tickle her into submission. And the fourth and final button caused a boot to kick her out of the cockpit, smashing through the glass and bouncing along the ground, now sticky and bruised.


"Yep, I hate babies now." she remarked before going back to her shadow form.


From inside, the Mastermind and Queen were still brawling with each other, with the robot's controls going more haywire every time one got the upper hand over the other. Finally, the Mastermind managed to grab Queen and slam her down against the master controls for the right arm, which was Wasp's usual station, causing it to go flying straight toward Claire. In the heat of the moment, Claire held out her hands and telekinetically stopped the fist right before it could hit her, the impact of which caused Wasp to lose his lunch over the floor. With victory now in hand, the Mastermind chuckled sinisterly as he held up his claws before the leader of the Brigade. Queen looked down, seeing Marcus preparing another geyser of lava to launch at the robot, and looked over to see Claire and Ellen struggling with the arms.


Cracking a smile, Queen proclaimed "GET STUNG!" before slamming her fist down on a button that activated the emergency eject and the mech's stinger cannons at the same time, each shooting a barrage of stingers at the minions. Marcus ducked backwards to avoid it, which caused his lava to scatter everywhere. Ellen and Claire both turned looked up in shock at the sight of metal spikes and magma coming their way as their boss was finally launched out of the cockpit, also about to collide with everything else.


At this moment, the stress became more than Claire could take at once, breaking her concentration with a groan as she gripped her head. Her powers suddenly enveloped the entire room, stopping everything in its tracks as their were lifted into the air, from her cohorts, to the robot, to the stingers and lava all around. Sensing what was about to happen again, the Mastermind's frustration only grew.


"CLAIRE! THIS IS NOT HELPING!" he bellowed. "PUT EVERYTHING DOWN RIGHT NOW!"


"JUST LET ME THINK!" she pleaded, moving her hands away and inadvertently causing the Mastermind, magma, and stingers to all go flying off in that direction with a scream. Ellen quickly wrapped her shadow arms around a metal rod to anchor herself, and Marcus hardened magma around his feet to weigh himself down before he could fly off.


Next thing the would be conqueror knew, everything, including himself, smashed right into the stomach of the robot, hitting it right in its core, which glowed a bright orange. The three pilots all glanced over at their screens, which were flashing the words "CRITICAL STATUS", followed by a cute little animation of a dynamite exploding.


"Oh, buzz." was all Queen could say in that moment.


The mech went down in a glorious explosion, one so large it was visible from the corners of Rottenheim. A large chunk of the Mastermind's base was taken out from the blast, and the three pilots of the mech were sent soaring through the air, screaming as they disappeared into the horizon. "THE BATTLE BUG BEE BRIGADE'S BLASTING OFF AGAAAIIIIII-"


Ding.


The three lackeys all paused, taking a moment to recover from the blast, with everything in the room finally dropping to the ground.


"Did we win?" Marcus asked.


"Looks like it." Ellen commented.


"Alright!" he cheered, throwing his arms into the air with a confident laugh as Claire floated down to his side with a groan. Marcus quickly reached over and grabbed her by the wrist, lifting her back up into the air. "Hey, three cheers for the MVP!"


"Ugh - Um, yeah, thanks, just..." Claire stammered, trying to rub out her headache. "Just give me a moment, please..."


"Oh. Sorry."


Everyone's attention was turned to a faint scream, which only got louder until the Mastermind plummeted out of the air, landing hard against the ground, now even more battered and bruised than before. With an exasperated moan, he shakily got back to his feet, directly facing his three lackeys.


"So, uh... Do we keep the job?" Marcus asked cautiously.


"Yes... In fact, I already have a special mission for you three." the Mastermind said, causing the trio to perk up in curiosity. This was dashed when he shoved brooms, dust pans, and garbage bags into their hands. "And it's CLEANING UP YOUR MESS... while I lie down for a bit..."


With that sudden outburst taking the last bit of wind out of him, the Mastermind simply passed out on the floor.

"Doesn't he have a robot for this?" Ellen asked.


"Yeah, I hoped you knuckleheads didn't forget about me." said E.M.I.L.Y., startling them as she seemingly appeared out of nowhere. "Now c'mon, I ain't looking forward to cleaning up after you guys."


"Aren't you literally programmed for that?" said Marcus.


"Doesn't mean I like it!"


And so, with nothing better to do, the newly reinstated minions got busy, each making an effort to clean up in their own ways. But as they cleaned, a familiar face burst out of the rubble of the robot, gasping for air.


"...Oh, hey guys." said Bumble awkwardly as he climbed out. "I'll uh... I'll just... go..."


END.

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