It was a typical day in Rottenheim; The grass was brown, the sky was orange, and supervillain activity was just as rampant as ever. It seemed like any ordinary day the Mastermind would be using to plot his latest scheme for world domination - but not today. For deep in his lair, in a chamber with a metallic tube where he’d rest every night, was where the Mastermind laid, drained of energy. His gross green skin was pale and even more gross. His maniacal laughter was subdued by a rough cough. And there was a strange, purple ooze leaking out of his nose, with no one questioning what it was. Even though he was in bad shape, the only people feeling worse were his three minions, who were forced to take care of him. Ellen and Claire both lingered around his sleeping chamber, the latter uneasily supplying tissues, feeling more disgusted than usual to see their boss in such a state.
“Ugh… Stupid Earth diseases…” he moaned. “Stupid… what’d you say this was again…?”
“A cold?” Claire responded.
“Stupid cold!”
“Gee, almost like making a machine powered by polar ice cap ice specifically was a really stupid idea.” Ellen jabbed. “I’d get you some for your head if it didn’t melt on the way back.”
“I’m especially not in the mood for this right now, Ellen.” he complained. “I need to think about how I’m supposed to conquer the world like this! Which is easier said than done when your head’s about to split in hal-dAUGH… ugh…”
The sudden outburst just as quickly left him winded, falling back against the hard casing of his chamber. The two ladies peered inside, standing over their sickly superior.
“Sir, with all due respect, don’t you think you should just rest it off?” Claire asked.
“Of course not! Every day I’m getting closer! I can feel it in my bones!” he answered her as he sat up, immediately losing his luster when he heard a loud pop after moving his arm too quickly. “...Among other things…”
With another loud groan, he laid back down. Ellen simply rolled her eyes at her boss’ performance. “Jeez, you act like you’ve never been sick before.”
“I haven’t! We Dominians are always given medical preparations for the planets we’re authorized to… uh…” the Mastermind began to retort, before he listened to his own words, giving him a moment of pause. “Er… WE JUST DON’T GET SICK!”
Suddenly, the door to the Mastermind’s room opened, and through it came Marcus and E.M.I.L.Y., carrying food and supplies with them to present to the conqueror.
“I’m back! Sorry, shopping’s rough in this city. But I got everything! Hot soup, hot tea, hot ice pack… That one’s an accident, my bad…” said Marcus as he began treating his boss overbearingly. He rambled some more as he took a thermometer from the robot maid and forced it into the alien’s mouth, then put his hand up to his head. “Woah! Yeah, you’re in bad shape, boss. You feel really warm!”
“EVERYTHING feels warm to you, you dolt!” the Mastermind snapped, using a bit of energy to smack his hand away. He then turned his attention to the food before him. “And what’s all this for?”
“It’s to help you feel better, boss!” Marcus explained. “Chicken soup: Healthy and good for the soul!”
“Eugh, you had to describe it like that?” he complained as he laid back down. “I have a bad enough headache already!”
“We got the one boss who can’t be brown-nosed, remember?” E.M.I.L.Y. remarked.
“Right, uh… Well, anything else I can get you, boss?” Marcus asked.
The Mastermind simply turned over, once again drained of energy, and pulled the sheets close up to his head. “Just leave me alone and let me plan around this… uh… this oversight, I guess…”
“Sounds good to me.” Ellen remarked, being the first of them to make her way to the door.
“Yeah, you guys take it easy today.” said E.M.I.L.Y. as a nurse’s cap mechanically emerged onto her head. “Before he gets the strength to start yelling at you again.”
With nothing better to do about the current predicament, the three minions decided to oblige and left him to be as quietly as they could.
With them effectively having some time off - for the first time since working for the conqueror - the three minions tried to use their time wisely: Claire attempted to get in some long overdue meditation in her room, Marcus took a stab at some crafts to hopefully manage his powers, and Ellen simply laid on the uncomfortable sofa watching the news - arguably more entertaining to her than any shows at that time. But despite being hallways away, the Mastermind’s sickly, yet very loud coughing and groaning proved to be too much of a distraction. Even worse was when they were called back to do some menial task in a vein attempt to help him feel better, such as cleaning snot out of his resting chamber, or washing mold off his feet. Marcus drew the shortest straw for that job. He doesn’t like talking about it.
“Great, when he’s miserable, we’re all miserable.” Ellen complained with a sigh as she sat up.
“Should I try giving him green tea again?” Marcus asked, holding a kettle in the palm of his hand and heating it just with that.
“He’s probably just going to dump it on us…” said Claire as she entered the living room, rubbing her head. “But, I’ll take some…”
“You got it.” said Marcus as he held up the kettle in his hand, using his power to heat the water inside. But as he did so, the ground started to tremble, making him lose his balance and drop it onto the floor, smashing into dozens of pieces. “Aw, come on!”
Suddenly, a massive drill emerged from the floor, and attached to it by his arm was a short man with darkened glasses. He shot out from the ground with a hearty laugh, landing with enough force to cause another tremor.
“MASTERMIND!” the supervillain shouted. “I heard you weren’t feeling so well! Well, why don’t you take a permanent sick day and let MISTER MOLE cover for you!”
What Mister Mole didn’t realize wasn’t just that he wasn’t present, but that he wasn’t even facing the three persons that actually were in the room, all of which were just staring at him in confusion.
“...Well? Whattya say about that, Mastermind?” Mister Mole continued.
“He’s not here, dude.” Marcus said.
“Wha-? Who said that?” he questioned further, swiftly turning around. He then realized he was still wearing his mole goggles and lifted them up to his forehead to actually see his above-ground surroundings. “Okay, that’s better. Who the hell are you guys?”
“We’re his minions.” Claire answered cautiously.
“Oh, good, this is the right place! Dug into a lot of rando’s homes already.” the mole exclaimed. “So, take it I gotta beat you guys to get to him? Simple enough!”
Mister Mole held up his drill and pressed the button to turn it on, only for it to sputter and fail on him. The three minions were left feeling underwhelmed as he started to smack it, which didn’t help get it working again.
“Aw, dang, wore it out already…” he lamented. “...Um… Can I at least get a tour of the place?”
Unfortunately for Mister Mole, he was given no such benefit. Instead, the trio of lackeys were able to easily overwhelm him. He found himself narrowly dodging puddles of lava on the floor, getting average household objects telekinetically flung at him, and ultimately launched into the air by a giant shadowy hand and tossed back down onto the street. As he was left on the pavement, groaning in pain, the three lackeys were about to return to their activities, before they were interrupted.
“Well, we met our daily supervillain beating quota-” Ellen was about to remark, right before the wall was smashed through by a giant tractor with a buff man in overalls standing on top of it.
“OOOOOHHHH YEAH! Where’s your sickly boss at, brothers? ‘Cause the Dandy Farmer’s gonna make ‘im push up daisies sooner!” the supervillain announced. “You punks better get ready to get under some new management! OHHH YEAH!”
“Hey, pal, take a number!” someone shouted from behind him, catching his attention to see a woman decked out in armor made of kitchen utensils. “If anyone’s running this town now it’s gonna be Kitchen Krook!”
“Both of you numbskulls better beat it!” said a man with a tommy gun dressed in a cheap skeleton costume. “Sal Cabone’s gonna be runnin’ things from now on, see?”
The minions looked out among the crowd, seeing them all starting to bicker among themselves. There was an entire line on them spilling out from the Mastermind’s domain to the streets below. They had failed to realize previously just how many D-list supervillains there really were in Rottenheim. That aside, it was clear to them that someone had to take matters into their own hands.
“Everyone! Hey! HEY!” Claire surprisingly spoke up, only to get cold feet when the attention was put onto her. “I… Uuhhhh… They wanted to tell you something-”
“Yeah, to all go home, ya bunch of muppets!” Ellen interjected, pushing her cohort aside. “What, you all just got the same idea randomly? How did all of you even know that he was sick anyway?”
Every villain present pulled out their phones, revealing that they were all followers of her on Chitter. Ones that have taken particular notice of a post where the shadow woman was making light of her boss’ inability to eat soup properly.
“...Ah…” she added. “Well whatever, not like all of you can be in charge at once.”
“Yeah, she’s right!” a random supervillain spoke up from the crowd. “WE SHOULD FIGHT ‘EM FOR IT LIKE WE ALWAYS DO!”
“YEAH!”
“No that’s not what I was getting at-!” Ellen shouted back. But it was too late, as they were suddenly being rushed down by fellow villains left and right. “...Oh, bugger me.”
Hours went by with the three minions exerting themselves to fend off the crowd of d-list supervillains. None of them really posed much of a challenge on their own, instead the difficulty came from the sheer amount of them, as well as trying their best to heed the Mastermind’s commands whenever he sickly shouted for them during the fray. Eventually, after a long, arduous couple of hours of fighting off the lackluster supervillains, the last one finally retreated across the sea of the fallen crooks. Thus, the Mastermind’s minions were left tired and aching as they finally got the chance to sit down.
“I hope we’re getting overtime for this…” Claire lamented as she exhaustedly sprawled onto the table.
“Hah.” was all Ellen could muster up as a response.
“I’ll be back for revenge soon enough!” one villain called as they fled the scene. “You’re nuts if you think I’m passing up an opportunity like this!”
Their only response was to let out a simultaneous groan. Trying to manage fending off larger waves of potential usurpers and keeping up with their ill boss’ demands, they knew they would reach their limits eventually, if they hadn’t already. However, Marcus decided to be the one to do something about it, and overcame his exhaustion to reach for the phone - after putting on his trusted oven mitts, of course.
“Who’re you calling?” Ellen asked.
“The only doctor this city’s still got.” Marcus explained. “If a lot of guys are showing up ‘cause he’s sick, then him getting better should make ‘em stop coming, right?”
“Well… I mean, there’s always some-” Claire tried to refute, but she was too late as Marcus had already started talking with a supposed doctor.
“Yeah, that’s right, the Mastermind. Wait, don’t you need an address?” he said, only for the person to hang up on him. With a shrug, he put down the phone and proudly turned to his fellow lackeys. “Alright, he said he’ll be right over.”
Ding - dong!
The doorbell rang with immaculate timing that caught them all off-guard. Looking over at the two ladies, Marcus gave them a nod before going to answer the door. As he came up to answer it, the Magman raised his brow in confusion when he saw nobody on the other side, save for some still unconscious supervillains from earlier. With a shrug, he was about to return to waiting for the doctor. But when he turned around…
…he was already there.
“Salutations, my good man! Dr. Scrazz is the name and healing the superly-inclined is my game.” the strange man introduced. “May I please come in?”
“...You’re already in.” Marcus pointed out, resulting in a long, awkward silence from the doctor.
“.........VERY observant of you! Clearly, no optometry is needed here.” Scrazz spoke. “But no more wasting of time, let’s get right to the thick of it! OH, MASTERMIND!”
“Um, excuse me!” Claire interrupted as she got in the doctor’s way. She briefly lost her train of thought as she glanced back at his gaze, unnerved by his constant stretched smile and spiraling glasses that she felt peering into her soul. “I… Never heard of any Dr. Scrazz in Rottenheim before. Are you actually qualified?”
“Am I qualified? Of course, my dear!” Scrazz answered. “I would certainly hope so, at least. After all, I kept studying my craft in spite of being snubbed from medical schools across the state for TWENTY EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS STRAIGHT! BUT I LEARNED A THING OR TWO ANYWAY! I STUCK IT TO THE MAN, YOU COULD SAY!”
Scrazz halted his sudden outburst, breathing slowly through his teeth. Claire had no response. She only exchanged brief glances with Ellen, being too scared to say anything else at the risk of setting him off again.
“Eh, good enough for me.” Ellen said with a shrug. “C’mon, our queasy king’s thing way.”
“Wonderful! Always eager to help a subje - Er, patient.” Scrazz said, suddenly shifting to a chipper tune as he followed the shadow woman. The other minions didn’t follow right away, as they were still processing the doctor’s strange mannerisms.
“...Okay, yeah, I’m second guessing this.” Marcus admitted.
Back in his chambers, the Mastermind wasn’t feeling any better. If anything, the constant racket he was hearing from the rest of his lair only left him feeling even more sour. He tiredly glanced over at the soup that was left for him earlier. It had gone cold by now, but he figured he had nothing else to lose in his state. So, he reached over for the spoon, his arm weakly shaking as he tried to lift it to his lips.
BAM!
“WAKEY WAKEY!” Dr. Scrazz shouted as he forced his way through the sealed door with his tools, startling the Mastermind and making him spill cold soup on himself.
“What the-?! Who-!?” the Mastermind shouted, only to be interrupted by the doctor forcing a thermometer into his mouth.
“Careful, mister Mastermind, spiking blood pressure can be very unhealthy, especially in your condition!” Scrazz instructed. The minions peered in through the door, catching their boss’ attention.
“YOU THREE! Who is this lunatic?!” the Mastermind barked, spitting out the thermometer.
“He’s here to help you get better, sir.” said Claire. “...I think.”
“Well, if he’s the help, I don’t want it!” he said as he attempted to shove the doctor away from himself. “Get him out of here!”
“Oh, do trust me, I am a professional!” Scrazz said as he laid out his tools on the desk next to him, pulling out a pair of gloves and wetting them. “DON’T TOUCH ME, I’M STERILE!”
Much to the Mastermind’s dismay, the doctor began his procedure on him. It started with him extending mechanical arms from his case, converting his bed into a makeshift desk. Despite the Mastermind’s protests and him trying his best to fight back in his condition, he found himself being tossed around by the robotic arms and being forced to take all different kinds of pills, none of which his body reacted well to. While Ellen was having fun recording the suffering of her superior, the other two minions were growing more and more concerned with the doctor’s increasingly strange methods, culminating with him pulling out a turkey baster.
“I don’t want to know what you’re going to do with that…” the Mastermind groaned.
“How is any of this supposed to get him better, doctor?” Claire finally managed to ask.
“Oh, it’s not, actually. Or at least, it’s not if you keep asking DUMB QUESTIONS!” exclaimed the doctor, using his mechanical arms to rise above and peer back down into her eyes.
“Should we do something then?” Marcus asked.
“Yes, you should leave me to the patient… PRIVATELY!” Scrazz commanded. “I have my work cut out for me. And I need absolutely no distractions.”
“We weren’t even-”
“NO DISTRACTIONS!”
“Just as it was getting good, too.” Ellen lamented as she put her phone away.
“If it means getting rid of him sooner, then just get out of here already!” the Mastermind snapped. “Not like this has been any help!”
“Oh, don’t you worry, Mister Mastermind.” the doctor said as the minions finally left. “Now we can begin the REAL operation…”
A lot of time had gone by with the doctor supposedly treating his patient, leaving the minions to their own vices, occasionally thwarting off more impeding villains looking to take the throne. While they were growing ever curious as to what was taking so long, especially as the doctor darted in and out for minor things, none of them bothered to risk interrupting him. As Ellen mostly just scrolled through her phone as she usually did, Claire decided to try and meditate again, but didn’t find it any easier to focus with the commotion going on.
“Ugh, I give up…” Claire lamented as she lowered herself back onto the ground. “This is not the place for anything zen.”
“Think it’d help to come up with a mantra or mental image for you to focus on” Marcus advised. “That’s supposed to really help drown out all the clutter.”
“I didn’t know you studied meditation.” Claire remarked, surprised by his advice.
“I don’t.” he said as he held up a copy of ‘Body Fitness & Self-Love for Women; Non-Photoshopped Edition’. “Got it from here. It’s a pretty good read.”
“Oh, thanks, this… Wait…” said Claire. “You have women’s health magazines?”
“Oh, nah, I just grabbed it from the lobby.” Marcus answered. “Was right next to the kid’s toys.”
“...What-?”
“HEY!” a familiar voice suddenly shouted, interrupting Claire before she could ask any further questions. Having caught their attention, the minions glanced over to see one of the villains from the earlier ensemble had returned, getting them back to their feet.
“Back for round two, Kitchen Krook?” Marcus exclaimed in his best effort to sound cool while uttering her alter ego.
“What? No, I’m actually here for my appointment.” the crook said, drawing confusion from the three of them. “I broke my arm from that big scuffle earlier…”
“What, does this look like a hospital to you?” Ellen quipped.
“Yeah, actually, it does.” Claire said, being the first of them to look back and see the Mastermind’s lair suddenly transformed.
Without them even noticing what had happened, the lair behind them had been completely transformed. Gone were the dubiously comfortable furniture and compartments of alien weaponry, now there were lounges with belittling magazines next to them and compartments full of strange medicines they had never heard of before. Scrazz emerged from one of the doors, bolting down the hallway and stopping dead in his tracks in the lobby.
“HEY!” Ellen shouted at him. “You’re supposed to be making our boss better, not flipping the-!”
“Ah, good, the three o’clock is here. NURSE, send her in and fetch me my scalpel collection!” Scrazz ordered while pointing at the shadow woman.
“‘Nurse’?” she questioned. But before she could ask anything else, a mechanical arm suddenly emerged from behind Scrazz, grabbing the stray supervillain and dragging her back into the room, shutting the door tightly behind him.
Starting to piece together what was happening, the three minions exchanged glances with each other, trying to confirm it with each other. On the other side of the door they heard a variety of strange, electrical sounds, even compared to what they’ve heard in the lair before.
“...Alright, stand back, ladies!” Marcus announced as he stepped forward, raising his foot and preparing to stomp it down. “We’re goin’ in!”
“I don’t think the door’s locked y’know-” Ellen interjected, but she was too late to stop the Magman from slamming his foot onto the ground and melting it away with a pillar of lava. “...Well it’s definitely not now.”
The three minions peered inside, only becoming more surprised to see a long, ominous staircase illuminated by dim green lights. Another thing they didn’t remember being there before. Marcus found himself taking the lead down the steps, given how he was the one who burnt down the door. As they descended into the darkness below, a sense of uneasiness came over the three of them.
As they descended further and further, they kept hearing strange, electrical noises, and seeing increasingly odd equipment left laying around, presumably by the doctor. It ranged from broken stethoscopes, to pliers with plaque-covered baby teeth still in their prongs, to most disturbingly of all, pictures of Doctor Scrazz’s mother; At least, they assumed it was her since she had the same painted grin and spiral-eyed glasses.
“How’s all of this supposed to get the boss better?” Marcus questioned, being extra careful to avoid stepping on the tools strewn about.
“That’s your first question?” Ellen remarked. “That doctor’s only been here for an hour.”
“Well… I mean, that was my third.” he said, which did not help his case.
Eventually, another sound caught their attention. It came from the other side of a door at the very end of the hallway before them, alongside an ominous green light. It sounded like a mad doctor at work, with electricity buzzing, people sickly groaning, and the occasional crazed laugh. It was more than enough to give the trio a strong sense of uneasiness.
“How’re we approaching this, again?” Claire asked, standing far behind the others.
“Uh… Same as before? Yeah.” Marcus said, thinking on the spot and getting ready to stomp his foot down. “Stand back again, la-”
“I got it.” Ellen interrupted, stepping up in front of him. “If he gets better, we don’t need him screaming at us for more property damage.”
She proceeded to slip her shadowy arms through the cracks of the door, feeling around until she found the control panel on the other side. The door opened without any need for lava to melt it away, making Marcus question his earlier actions. This didn’t last long, however, as they looked at what was on the other side of the door…
…and what they saw disturbed them, to say the least.
“The hell’s going on in here?” Ellen asked with a much more relaxed reaction than her cohorts.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, nurse 2…?” the doctor’s eerie voice rang from the darkness.
The sound of mechanical limbs scraping across the floor suddenly echoed throughout the dark room. Scrazz himself emerged from behind the large machine he was housing his superpowered patients in. Claire’s nerves started to get the better of her, her powers kicking in and causing various tools to float into the air. The tendrils lashed out, making them all duck out of the way, only for them to swerve to grab the levitating equipment instead.
“Thank you, nurse 3.” Scrazz spoke. “Now that you’re here, would any of you care to assist me in my latest medical endeavor?”
“Wait, lemme guess: The whole doctor thing was just an act so you could take over this town, right?” Ellen said, raising a hand.
“Oh, that’s part of it, but I’m afraid you’ve correctly assumed wrong, nurse 2.” he explained, with his wording briefly confusing them. “For this profession is an act. An act of PASSION, that is! A passion that I was denied several times. But healing your dear Mastermind, being on top of the world of Rottenheim, without any competition or non-biased people to affirm my success, MY MEDICAL GENIUS WILL FINALLY BE RECOGNIZED!”
As he finished his speech, one of his arms flipped a switch he installed on the wall, causing the new room to shift and flip around. The ominous darkness and dim neon lights were suddenly replaced with pristine white walls, and the minions were dragged down into the floor, emerging dressed in green scrubs, much to their confusion.
“What? We can’t work at a hospital!” Claire protested. “We never had any training! Right?”
“Well, that never stopped me.” the doctor reassured her.
“Didn’t you say you’ve been studying this for twenty-eight years?” asked Marcus.
“Astute observation, nurse 1. Again, no optometry needed-”
“Okay, dude, can you stop calling us ‘nurses’?” he interrupted. “It’s just weird.”
“.........Very well. But if you won’t be my nurses…” the doctor conceded, only to be followed by his metal arms to hoist him into the air, grabbing any sharp object they could get their claws on. “THEN I’M GONNA BE OPERATING ALLLLL DAY!“
And so, all three minions took their stance, ready to-
“Hold on, doctors make a lot of money, right?” Ellen asked.
“Well, yes, but just so you know I can’t cover all insurance needs.” Scrazz informed. “Ironic, I know.”
“......Eh, not much better then.”
…And so, all three minions took their stance, ready to defend against the doctor’s assault.
“THEN LET US COMMENCE, NURSUBJECTS!” Scrazz proclaimed.
With a maniacal laugh, mechanical arms suddenly shot out from the doctor’s body in every direction, all zigging and zagging their way toward his three opponents. Ellen quickly ducked down, becoming one with her own shadow on the floor, leaving the others to fend for themselves. Marcus ducked down and Claire clapped to teleport out of the way of sharp scalpels coming at them. Seemingly abandoned by the two ladies, Marcus looked back up to see two of the arms curving around and heading back toward him. He punched the ground, shooting out lava and melting them away instantly.
“Oh, I wish you hadn’t done that, they were very expensive.” Scrazz said, before revealing even more arms out of the pack on his back. “GOOD THING I HAVE PLENTY TO GO AROUND!”
Claire suddenly reappeared behind the doctor as he used his arms to pin the Magman against the wall. Her eyes darted quickly around the room, looking for something useful, which was when she noticed random apparel starting to float around her. Her powers had kicked in under the stress of the situation. Deciding to just work with what she’s got, she cast out her arms, causing a barrage of needles and tongs to go flying toward the doctor. Many of them were jabbed right into Scrazz’s backside, making Claire wince at what she had just done.
“O-oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Claire apologized, only to notice that he didn’t seem phased by this, instead glancing back at her while plucking them out of his flesh. The lights flickered, and the next thing she knew, he had vanished, with Marcus falling face-first onto the floor. Now her anxiety was at an all time high as she started rapidly looking around the room.
“Behind you!” Marcus shouted as he shakily picked himself back up, causing Claire to turn around just in time to see a pair of metal arms wrapping around her wrists.
Claire began to freak out as she struggled against the mechanical grip, which only caused her psychic powers to act up again. The doctor emerged from his hiding spot, preparing to perform a craniotomy on his new patient. Realizing the danger she was in, Marcus formed a coat of lava around his hand, hurling a blob of stuff at Scrazz, only for him to leap out of the way and yank Claire with him. At this point, her powers subconsciously kicked in and caused some small objects to hurl themselves at the doctor, one of which was Marcus’ magma ball, which easily seared through his metal arms to free herself. She stood there shaking as the doctor stumbled backwards.
“Alright! Nice teamwork!” Marcus congratulated.
“...T-thanks?” Claire responded, still processing the events.
While they were keeping busy with the doctor, Ellen reemerged from her shadowy form in front of the wide machine that was keeping his patients captive. Every one of them seemed to be put into a sedative state, with electricity being both pumped in and taken out of them, which included the Mastermind himself. She used her shadowy arms to slip through the tight cracks of the machine, attempting to free her boss that way, though they were too tight for her to budge, and too thick to cut through when she formed them into scissors.
“Alright, option 3 it is then.” Ellen remarked as she retracted her arms, forming them into a giant mallet head.
She reeled herself back, aiming to break her boss out the careless, but fun way. Suddenly, she felt a pinch on her sides, looking down to see one of Scrazz’s arms gripping onto her as it suddenly shot a surge of volts into her. This stunned her enough to then be hoisted into the air by the doctor, who slammed her down into the ground, aiming for the other two minions that had just managed to avoid the attack.
“Apologies, but we can’t have people tampering with sedative patients, now can we?” said Scrazz as he lunged himself back into the darkness by shattering the lights around him.
The three minions all stood back to back, looking around carefully for the doctor, but seeing nothing as the room around them suddenly went pitch black. Only faint lights illuminating the patients could be seen throughout the dark bunker. Only an ominous laugh from the doctor himself could be heard over the mechanical humming. All three of them were on the edge, each anticipating an attack from every angle.
“Wait, what the hell am I doing?” Ellen suddenly asked before she cast out her arms into the darkness around them. Within seconds, Scrazz yelped as he was repeatedly punched across the room, eventually being grabbed by a giant, shadowy hand and slammed down onto the floor himself. “How’d you like it, ya quack?”
“A lot, as it was a valuable learning experience.” the doctor replied, lifting his head to her and seeming no worse for wear.
It was here the three realized that Scrazz had injected his metal arms into the floor itself, allowing them to break out and surround them, gazing down like snakes eyeing their prey. They all lunged at them, each responding in their own ways; Ellen ducking back down into the shadows to avoid them, Claire putting up a barrier that blocked them from the front, and Marcus conjuring lava around his arms to melt away the ones that grabbed him.
The doctor’s assault proved to be relentless, as the more they tried to avoid getting pinched by his tendrils, the more would seemingly appear out of nowhere. No matter where they went, or how much they fought back, another electrified arm would be right in their faces. All the while the doctor stayed on the move, making it even harder for them to fight back against the onslaught.
Amidst the chaos, Claire kept teleporting around and flinging things with her mind in every direction, which mostly just hindered her cohorts if anything. Eventually, she stopped and look down, seeing she had reappeared on top of the machine holding her boss captive, and more conveniently right on top of a keypad connected to his tube. Thinking quickly, she formed a force field around herself to keep the doctor from interrupting her as she started fiddling with the panel, having no luck at cracking it, and even less with it being difficult for her to concentrate.
Ellen and Marcus were busy fending for themselves. The shadow woman was managing to close in on the doctor thanks to her becoming one with the shadows, while the Magman was keeping him occupied by spreading bubbling lava across the floor. Just when they thought they had finally cornered him, Scrazz would just vanish into the darkness again and block their path with anything he could throw at them, whether it be stethoscopes, pill bottles, or an entire table.
“Dammit, how is a doctor of all things so slippery?” Ellen remarked.
“I dunno, but it’s really making me reconsider my career choice.” said Marcus. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Claire trying to crack the machine, with her force field fading as the stress of the situation piled on. “I got an idea, hang on!”
The Magman glanced back toward Ellen, being able to pinpoint a location where Scrazz’s tentacles were coming at her from. He cracked a grin and stomped the ground, the pressure causing cracks to emerge and travel across the floor before a wall of lava suddenly erupted in front of the shadow woman, narrowly missing her but severing the doctor’s arms. Scrazz himself seemed to have gotten too close for comfort, and was now darting around the room, his coat singed and inflamed.
“WHOO! HOT! VERY HOT!” Scrazz shouted. “BUT IT’S A DRY HEAT!”
Marcus stood proudly as he saw the doctor finally on the run. Ellen was less proud, coming up to him while putting out a loose flame on her now also singed shirt.
“More of a head’s up would’ve been nice.” Ellen remarked.
“Sorry.”
With some time bought, they finally joined Claire atop the machine, hoping that after all of that she figured something out. Knowing she was about to disappoint her fellow lackeys, the psychic simply turned around to give it to them straight.
“I’ll be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing he-WATCH OUT!” Claire suddenly screamed, drawing their attention to Scrazz’s arms shooting down toward them from the darkness yet again.
The trio managed to just barely dodge the assault, with Marcus ducking for cover, Ellen turning herself intangible, and Claire teleporting to the other side of the machine. Since the arms didn’t hit any of them, they instead traveled straight into the control panel they were huddling around, but burrowed even deeper into the machine. Next thing they knew, the strange fluid started leaking out, electricity started sparking from the containment units, and a high pitched buzzer was erratically going off. Scrazz retracted the tendrils, but saw that the damage was already done, with the machine sparking and blaring its alarm.
“Well, I commend you nurses for outsmarting me, but unfortunately that is very not very good.” Scrazz said, acting very casually about the whole ordeal. “Oh well, you all have insurance, right?”
“This is Rottenheim, no one does.” Ellen remarked.
“Welp. Sucks to be you-”
BWAH-BOOOOOM!!!
Moments later, the dust settled, and the bunker was now left in shambles with Scrazz seemingly crushed under some rubble. The Mastermind’s minions groaned as they recovered from the blast themselves.
They all suddenly noticed the Mastermind flopping onto the ground in front of them, freed from his containment, but his armor left battered in the blast. He picked himself up, with his lackeys noticing that his skin looked much clearer than it had before. The Mastermind looked around and gawked, seeing the basement of his lair not only transformed, but trashed as well, and his angry gaze fell upon his subordinates.
“Once again it seems I can’t take my eyes off you IDIOTS for a while without my lair being trashed!” the Mastermind grilled. “You three are VERY LUCKY I’m feeling better now, because if I was still miserable after all that, you’d be-!”
“Wait, boss, you’re actually better?” said Marcus. “Like, all of that really cured you?”
“And my arm’s better!” exclaimed the Kitchen Crook.
“Yeah, no one cares.” the Mastermind dismissed while shoving her back to the floor. “And I’d better be! That was the whole point of you bringing that lunatic here, wasn’t it?”
“Well, of course he’s better, I am a doctor after all!” Scrazz said, perking up his head as if nothing had happened to him. “Everyone always doubts my methods, but today, I have proven that they are medical genius! GENIUS, I TELL YOU!”
The doctor went on for a good minute, celebrating his technical success, all while the three minions just stared back in disbelief. They had only begun processing all the events that transpired this day, and Ellen in particular was feeling peeved, realizing this was a waste of their time.
“By the way, Mastermind, here’s your bill.” the doctor said, handing it to him with one of his tendrils. The conqueror looked it over, groaning in disgust.
“Was remodeling a part of my lair really necessary?” he questioned.
“Oh, that’s just the first half of it.” Scrazz explained as he unfolded the rest of the bill, which trailed across the floor. “THESE are your medical expenses.”
There was a long, hard pause as the Mastermind contemplated everything before him, slowly turning to the doctor with his wide, unwavering grin.
“I assure you part of this is also to accommodate repairs to my personal technology as well, as it was broken up pretty badly in our little disagreement there.” Scrazz continued. “Although now that I say that, I realize that implies that I am helpless against a hypothetical assault. Which I must assure you, my friends, that I am n-”
POW-BIFF-OOF-BAM-WHACK-SMASH
And just like that, Scrazz was kicked out of the lair and to the sidewalk. An act that Ellen actually decided to aid her boss with for once, leaving him there bruised and beaten.
“I need to take more patients with less apples.” Scrazz said to himself. “IT’S ALWAYS THE APPLES’ FAULT!”
A good couple of hours had gone by, with E.M.I.L.Y. and a miniature army of drones having been on duty to clean up after the doctor all day. The Mastermind strutted ahead, feeling his muscles, taking a deep breath through his nose, and cracking a sinister grin as he held up his personal globe.
“Credit where it’s due, that screwball doctor really got me back on my feet! I feel like I’m made of gold - NAY! PLATINUM!” the Mastermind boasted. “In fact, I feel like I could take over right now! Come, minions! This planet’s not gonna conquer itself!”
With an ecstatically evil laugh, the Mastermind pointed forward, commanding his lackeys to the bunker to grab whatever weaponry they wanted. A few seconds passed without there being any response to this, other than the sounds of sniffling and coughing.
“...Minions?”
After the long hours of action without rest and exposing themselves to the various patients of the doctor’s, none of the minions were feeling up to the task of supervillainy, something the Mastermind could immediately tell.
“...Of course.” he complained.
KER - BAM!!!
A second large hole was punched through the side of his lair, making him jump back to see another entourage of D-list villains lined up outside.
“OOOHHH YEAH! HEARD YOUR WIMPY LIL’ MINIONS WEREN’T FEELING TOO WELL, MASTERMIND!” the Dandy Farmer proclaimed. “YOUR THRONE’S MINE FOR THE TAKIN’!”
As the villains started to bicker among themselves yet again, the Mastermind just glanced back at his three unwell minions. While Marcus and Claire were at least attempting to stand their ground, Ellen simply groaned and put up her arms, disappearing into a shadow on the wall. The conqueror turned back to the wave of costumed crooks before him, staring for a few seconds, then letting out a slow, raspy sigh.
“I wish I was sick again…” he complained as he readied himself for another long day.
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