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Writer's pictureAdam Woytila

Partners in Crime 005: Lava or Leave 'em


Channel 88 news. Considered one of the most reliable news stations on the planet (so long as you don’t fact check anything they say). At this hour, they were reporting on a crime scene that occurred in the city of Pleasentrail, just a few miles away from Rottenheim. It was a particularly messy scene, staged at a warehouse made to hold rare machine parts and batteries, which was now seeping with lava and surrounded by hazard control workers.


“Authorities have reported a lot of molten rock left behind, with nothing stolen… but obviously severely damaged.” the anchorwoman reported. “The police and local heroes are looking into the perpetrators of this caustic event. But in more uplifting news, Barry Singmore has announced he is working on the reboot to his famous show Singmore, the show about no-”


KER-SMASH!


She was interrupted by a television remote smashing through the screen. The Mastermind stood before it, his armor charred and warped from heat, as Marcus sat on the couch behind him, looking sheepish as ever.


“Man, we’ve gone through a lot of TVs lately…” he remarked.


“Well, maybe you could steal one for me, provided you don’t MELT EVERYTHING AGAIN!” the Mastermind snapped back.


“I’m sorry, boss…” Marcus tried to apologize, but his boss was having none of it.


“Maybe your apology would be accepted if apologies would get me the parts I need for my Ultimate Boomsday Device, but guess what Marcus, THEY DON’T!” he shouted. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to make my armor more heat resistant… again…”


The Mastermind stormed out of the room, past Ellen and Claire, who made sure to stand out of his way as he grumbled to himself. The Magman let out a long sigh, disappointed in his clumsiness costing them another successful crime. His remaining minions decided to accompany him, sensing his distraught.


“You okay, Marcus?” Claire asked.


“Yeah, it’s just… You’d think I’d be used to screwing up by now with how much I do it.” he lamented.


“Yeah, me too.” Ellen remarked, followed by a discouraging look from Claire. “What?”


Marcus glanced back at his fellow lackeys, and decided to give them some reassurance by letting out a deep breath and putting on a smile. “Hey, don’t worry about it, guys, not the worst mess I’ve made… in a while.” he said as he stood up from the couch. “I uh… I think I’m just gonna hit that big training room thing again, if ya need me.”


“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Claire asked. “‘Cuz like, I don’t think you wanna melt anything in there. And seems like you’re already on thin ice with him.”


“Nah, I’ll be careful.” he said. “Besides, only way I’m gonna get better with these powers, right?”


“Hey, do whatever you want, hot stuff.” Ellen said as she stretched out her arm to pat him on the shoulder on her way out. “I’m going out for the night anyway, so won’t be around to be woke up by the fire alarm.”


“...We have a fire alarm?” Marcus asked, only for Claire to respond with a shrug.

 

It was now quarter to ten. Marcus was in the Mastermind’s training facility for hours now, with E.M.I.L.Y. in charge of the controls, and without seeing any improvement. In fact, quite the opposite, as there were several holes melted through the ground, and traces of cooled magma all over the place, solidified from the built in sprinklers. If there was a fire alarm, it would have definitely gone off by now.


“Sorry about the mess, E.M.I.L.Y.” Marcus apologized.


“Hey, you’re the one that’s gotta clean it.” the robot retorted. “No worries here.”


Marcus smiled back at her with a chuckle, but as soon as he turned to exit the facility, he dropped the facade and sloped down his head, disappointed in himself. But he managed to pick himself up, knowing it was going to be a long trip back to his room in the lair.


After a bit of trekking, as a tired Marcus was almost back to his chambers, the phone in the living room suddenly rang, with an unknown number listed on the machine. Marcus paused as it rang a couple of times, and with no one else around to answer it, he decided to do so himself. He figured it was probably another scam, as was common in the city, but figured he had nothing else to bother with at that time. He answered the phone with a simple “Hello?”, with a female voice immediately responding to him.


“Hi, this is Unizon Deliveries.” the person on the other end introduced. “I got an order here for a Tenasonic Doomsday Weapon for the Likemind, Dominian Empire. This is the correct number, right?”


“What? No, this is…” Marcus began, only to pause and think. He realized he may have finally had his chance to prove something to his boss, to make him more than just a screw up. “This is the right number! Sorry, got confused for a second there. Yeah, this is the, uh, Likemind residence, minion speaking.”


“Alright, just gonna need you to confirm an address then and we’ll have it shipped right to you.”


“Okay!” Marcus responded. “That’s 1668 Limewood Circle in Rottenheim.”


“...And what planet?”


“Oh. Uh, Earth.”


“Got it. That’ll be ten quasits, you’ll pay when it arrives in cash, cuz trust me, you don’t want this on your credit report.”


“Alrighty! Thanks a lot!”


Both sides hung up, Marcus feeling excited to relay the news in the morning. He wanted to make sure that he told the Mastermind every single detail. Which, unfortunately, also included the price. And so, the following morning…

The Mastermind had jumped onto Marcus’ chest shaking him silly and being very close to choking him out of sheer anger, much to the lava man’s shock and confusion.


“YOU NIMROD!” screamed the Mastermind. “WHAT MADE YOU THINK I HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY?!”


“B-but boss, it was just ten, that doesn’t seem like that much-” Marcus tried to rationalize, only to get interrupted by his superior dragging him down to his level.


“Maybe not for your feeble Earth currency, but we’re talking about quasits.” he explained. “One quasit is equivalent to a million of your PITIFUL EARTH DOLLARS, YOU DOLT!”


Marcus’ eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets upon hearing that, realizing the fatal error of failing to account for foreign currency. As a wave of regret came over him, mostly from how shaken up he was by the conqueror, Claire entered the kitchen still in her pajamas, groggily rubbing her eyes.


“What’s going on in here…?” she groaned.


“Claire! No time to waste! Fork over your bank info now!” the Mastermind ordered.


“Oh… Okay, I’ll just, uh…” Claire muttered as she fully woke up, finally processing what he just said. “WHAT?!”


“And your parents while we’re at it!” he said, starting to panic. “We need ten million dollars in three day’s time!”


“HUH?!”


Ellen, having been up for a while, finally poked her head into the room to chime in. “Uh, yeah, we’re not doing that.” she said bluntly. “Not when you’re paying us in peanuts.”


“PEANUTS ARE VERY NUTRITIOUS!” he shouted back.


“B-boss, calm down, I’m sure we can get that money some other way.” Marcus spoke up. “Somehow…?”


The Mastermind slowly turned back to his magma minion, giving him an intense glare before getting right up in his face to drive his next point home.


“Well, you better figure something out, Marcus. If you know what’s good for you!” he threatened. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to chart out robberies of every bank in the state!”


And so, the Mastermind furiously stormed off, pushing Claire out of his way with enough force to knock her down to the floor. As they watched him leave, Ellen’s eyes shot right back at Marcus, with her asking one simple question. “What’d you do, lava brain?”

 

Meanwhile, on Vumachia, a distant planet in the Milky Way Galaxy that was home to the Vumachians, the furry creatures were busy with their daily lives. Which, unfortunately, involved them slaving away to their relatively new Dominian empire. Within a big, pink palace that used to belong to the Vumachian’s one ruler, said Dominian was seated on her throne. She was stern and strict, keeping them in line by harshly punishing them for the simplest mistake, even if it was misplacing a berry on her favorite tarts. She was the Likemind, and she was starting to get very impatient.


“MULKA!” she shouted, immediately summoning a Vumachian servant to her side. “Fetch me the phone.”


The servant did exactly as he was told, whimpering in fear as he did so. She immediately snatched it out of his hands and dialed on it, waiting only two rings for the other side to pick up.


“Unizon deliveries, how can I help you?” the receptionist said.


“Yes, this is the Likemind of Vumachia.” she stated. “A week ago I placed an order for a Tenasonic Doomsday Weapon, and I have heard nothing from it since.”


“Oh, it should be on its way now.” she explained. “We talked with your minion to confirm the order.”


“Which minion?” she questioned. “None of them have brought this to my attention.”


“It was someone named Marcus. Told us to deliver it to 1668 Limewood Circle, Rottenheim, Earth.”


“...EARTH?!” she exclaimed. “You didn’t suspect anything amiss when a representative of Vumachia told you to deliver it to EARTH?!”


“It’s not my job to be inquisitive, ma’am.”


In her frustration, the Likemind held up the phone with one hand, and from her other hand shot a magnetic beam that traveled through its circuitry. Shortly after, the receptionist was heard screaming in pain, followed by her crushing the phone in her grip.


“1668 Limewood Circle… Rottenheim… Earth.” she repeated. “Mulka, write that down and get ready for departure. Someone is going to pay for this…”

 

Back in Rottenheim, the Mastermind and his minions were trying to scrounge up as much money as they could, which was difficult to do with so many supervillains stealing it for themselves first. The conqueror had resorted to stealing from other villains just as they had stolen from someone else, adding on to the layers of stealing. Some were far more effective than others, between the Mastermind showing no mercy, Ellen simply going along with it, Claire being too scared to steal anything more than pennies, and Marcus… well…


Marcus also wasn’t having much luck with his heists, as he was hesitant to use his powers, knowing he was in hot enough water with his boss as is. This proved difficult when he was attempting to steal the stolen money of a brute that dwarfed him in size, decked out in leather and metal.


“So uh, yeah, I’m kinda taking this self vow to not use my powers, since I’m kinda in trouble.” he explained. “But also getting money would help me get out of trouble, and you seem like a reasonable enough guy, so-”


POW!!!


Marcus returned to his group without a black eye, but no money.


“Alright, this is taking too long.” said the Mastermind. “I need ideas! How do we raise ten million dollars quickly?”


“Pretty sure we’d all be in a much different place if we knew that.” Ellen remarked.


“Thanks, Ellen, helpful as always.” he growled.


“Hey, uh, boss, why don’t we just-” Marcus began, only to be interrupted almost immediately.


“Hold that thought, Marcus, you’re on last resort duty for the time being.” he ordered. “Claire! Give me ideas!”


Claire swallowed hard, stammering her words as she tried to think of something to please him on the spot. “Start a fundraiser?”


“No, that’s too honest!” he claimed before taking a second to think it over. “...Which is how we’ll play into people’s sensibilities to trick them into donating to my cause! Yes! Claire, you’re an evil genius! Now get me some pictures of starving orphans at once!”


The Mastermind ran off, cackling to himself. Claire just stared off in disbelief, turning to her fellow minions, who were just as shocked and clueless as she was.

Plan A - Phony Fundraiser:


After taking pictures of his minions in custom-made attire and saving some photos of sad orphans he found online, the Mastermind had his fundraising website up, ready to sucker in people for their hard earned cash. He stared at his computer monitor for minutes, waiting for the number to go past zero. It didn’t take long for him to get impatient. Especially when the comments rolled in, giving him the opposite of what he wanted.


“‘This is obviously a scam’? ‘Don’t trust anything ran by Mastermind’?” he read aloud. “Are you kidding me?! How did they see through it that easily?”


“Well, for one, there’s watermarks all over your orphan pics.” Ellen pointed out.


The Mastermind groaned in frustration as he smashed his computer to pieces with his fist… then groaned again at the realization of how much more money that will cost him.


“Boss, why don’t we-” Marcus spoke up, only to be shot down again.


“Still last resort status, Marcus!” the Mastermind stated, holding up a finger to him. “Ellen, ideas.”


The shadow woman paused as she rolled her eyes over at him, a mischievous smirk growing on her face.


Plan B - The Livestream:


As part of Ellen’s plan, the Mastermind was now laying on a bed awkwardly as monitors played a screensaver of seductive imagery. Ellen had a livestream set up before him, as well as having taken out her phone, all while the uncertain alien tried his best to pull off this bizarre Earth custom.


“Yes… I will… dominate you… Dominate you all day long… Uh… Totally… dominating your… What does that even mean?” he read rigidly from the prompter. While this somehow did get a few donations, it was still happening a lot slower than he would’ve liked, and was now just frustrated and confused. “Ellen, how the hell is this supposed to make millions?!”


“Oh trust me, there’s someone out there that’s into this.” Ellen said, trying to hold back her laughter as she recorded the whole thing. The other two minions were alternating between making sure the stream was running smoothly and looking back at their boss in embarrassment.


“Ugh, I feel ridiculous…” he complained. It was then he noticed a particular comment appearing in the chat, one jokingly telling him to ‘SEND NUDES LOL’. Not knowing his abbreviations, he figured it was a serious demand. “Odd request, but fine…”


And so, the Mastermind turned to the monitor behind him, switching it on to show a display of his species’ anatomy. Claire and Marcus’ jaws dropped in sheer disgust at the images appearing before them, while Ellen was too busy clipping her recordings to post online.


“Not ‘mine’ per say but this is the basic anatomy of my kind, hope that counts.”


“Wait, did you actually-” Ellen asked as she finally looked away from her phone, something that became her biggest regret as she too now saw the horrid images. Her response was a lot more vitriolic, immediately bending over to gag. “...Ugh… Okay, I deserved that…”


This, unsurprisingly, had the opposite effect of what he wanted, as everyone collectively switched off the stream and retracted their donations, no longer finding it amusing.


“What?! Where are you going?!” the Mastermind squawked. “I GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED!”


“No amount of therapy is going to help with this…” Claire commented, forcing herself to look away.


“Boss, can I just-AH! IT’S STILL UP! AH!” Marcus began to ask, foolishly looking back.


“OKAY, you know what, I’M gonna be coming up with the plans now!” the conqueror stated. “Because clearly I’m the only one here who can come up with something that won’t be a WASTE OF TIME!”


Plan Z - Brownie Bake Sale:


“GIVE ME MONEY TO CONSUME MY BROWNIES OR DIE!” the Mastermind shouted at a man that was just going for a stroll, causing him to simply scream and run away. “THEY’RE DELICIOUS!”


The Mastermind didn’t bother chasing him, too exhausted from all of his other schemes. Instead he opened up the watch function of his armor, gawking when he realized how much time he’s been wasting.


“Oh, GREAT! We’ve gone through every letter and now they’re probably gonna be here any minute!” he complained, dropping to his knees. “WHY, universe? Why give me this awesome opportunity and strip it away from me?”


As he started pathetically sobbing on the ground, his three minions just stood over him, feeling a whole new level of pity they never felt for their boss before.


“Boss, is it last resort time yet?” Marcus asked.


“Okay, fine, Marcus, what is your idea?” the conqueror relented, with nothing left to lose.


“Why don’t we just beat up the delivery guy when he arrives?” he said.


“Don’t be ridiculous, that… That, uh…”


Plan Whatever - Just Assault the Dude:


The time was 3:30. Outside the Mastermind’s lair, an alien delivery person was standing outside with a highly illegal package behind them, continuously ringing the doorbell.


“Hey, anybody home?” they called. “Look, uh, I really shouldn’t be staying in one place too long with this, so-”


KLANG!


Next they knew they were out cold on the ground, the Mastermind standing above them with a metal pipe. He pressed some buttons on a keypad, activating a trap door to dispose of them, all while his minions just stood back and watched.


“Alright, you got one, Marcus.” he complimented. “Good idea that I’m taking credit for now.”


“I… I’ll take it.” said the Magman.


“Good, now let’s get this sucker up and running!” the Mastermind said excitedly as he ran toward the giant crate.


The aspiring alien overlord eagerly tore into the crate, prying it open with his own hands. Inside, there was a magnificent weapon, a giant laser cannon with all the bells and whistles. The Mastermind got all giddy as he looked over all the different levels of destruction it had, from ‘Mild Inconvenience’ to ‘Planetary Annihilation’. He tossed the cable to Claire and ordered her to plug it in, despite her further concerns. As the weapon began charging up, Marcus still felt rather unsatisfied with himself. Despite everything having seemed to work out, a part of him thought that it wasn’t really because of him or any improvement he’s made. But those thoughts got put aside when his boss asked him something:


“Oh yeah, by the way, Marcus, how did you even order one of these things?”


Marcus paused, trying to think of a way to make it seem more impressive. “...Well-”


FER-WOOOOOOOSH!!!

Before anyone could get any thoughts out, a huge spaceship suddenly landed before them, scorching the grass as its flames came to a halt. The Mastermind looked up as the ship's main entrance slowly opened, stepping back to avoid getting flattened. Finally, he saw two figures stepping out of the ship and glaring down at the four of them, one being a Vumachian brute, and the other being another Dominian, a female one that the Mastermind immediately recognized, as she did with him.


“Oh no…”


“Mlxrphlt?!” the Likemind exclaimed upon seeing her fellow Dominian. “What in the name of Diuvash are you doing on this miserable planet?!”


As the Mastermind tried to think of a way out of this situation, Marcus leaned in toward him, also looking at her in confusion.


“I take it you and she go way back, boss?” he whispered, though not quietly enough to remain unheard.


“‘Boss’?” she questioned further. “Are you this ‘Marcus’ who intercepted my weapon?”


“Uuhhhh…” he stammered, not sure how to answer.


“Wait… Then that means you’re…” she continued, finally putting two and two together and looking back at the Mastermind, completely baffled. “Oh, no, don’t tell me you’re actually trying to conquer this hellhole of a planet, Mlx! I knew you were stupid but this is a whole other level!”


“Yeah, well, uh… Well I was just about to with this glorious weapon!” the Mastermind proclaimed, only angering her further.


“You mean MY glorious weapon? That I ordered?!” she shouted.


“...Huh?” He glanced back at Marcus, who just gave him a sheepish smile. Having no time to properly yell at him, he just gave him a quick glare before turning back to the Likemind. “W-well I have it now! So it’s mine! Hah!”


“Do you even know what that weapon is?!”


“Of course I do!” the Mastermind stated before pausing. “It’s… a big… take over the world ray! That will make me take over the world! Duh!”


“No, you idiot, it’s a planet-nuking device!” she continued. “One that’s got no right being in the hands of a careless… Why am I even arguing with you?!”


The Likemind held out her hand, emitting a tractor beam that engulfed the Mastermind, raised him into the air, and forced him back down onto the ground with enough force to crack it. The Likemind looked over at his three minions, then turned to her own and pointed forward.


“Mulka! Destroy them!” she ordered. The Vumachian snarled affirmingly before leaping off the ship and landing before the trio of lackeys, dwarfing them in size and growling as he glared down at them.


“Seriously? One big, dumb brute against three?” Ellen jabbed cockily, shifting into full shadow mode. “So much for-”


Before she could even finish that sentence, Mulka generated a pink energy from his claws, enabling him to grab onto her otherwise intangible form.


“...Oh, bollocks-”


Next thing she knew, she was swung over the beast’s head and slammed into the ground as hard as the beast could muster. However, he noticed this didn’t do any significant damage, as she planted herself onto the floor, flat as a shadow. Seeking to correct this, Mulka’s energy-charged fist began punching the ground while still holding onto her shadow tail, limiting her movement, but still being able to just barely dodge his attacks.


Claire decided she couldn’t just sit idly and glanced to her side, seeing the discards of the metal crate scattered about the lawn. Thinking quickly, she telekinetically lifted them into the air, then swung her arms forward with a grunt, causing them to crumble into a ball before striking the beast on the back of his head. However, the mashed up metal just harmlessly bounced off of Mulka, without so much as a flinch from him. This did get his attention, slowly turning around with a low growl as he looked down at Claire, who in turn was looking back up at him, a cold sweat coming over her head.


“...I’m sorry.”


KRA-POW!


With a hearty swing of the Vumachian’s arm, all three of the minions were sent flying back, smashing through the wall into the living area, where Mulka followed. The Likemind chuckled to herself as she watched her minion easily decimating her peers’, while the Mastermind was still forced against the ground, her foot on the back of his helmet. Not down for the count, he looked over and noticed a hatch behind them, with what seemed like a flimsy hatch keeping it shut. He managed to move his arm and point at it, shooting a bolt of electricity and making it come undone, striking the Likemind and knocking her over. She lost focus and her tractor beam dissipated, giving the Mastermind an opportunity to spin around and deck her in the face with as much force as he could muster.


“Who’s the idiot now, Lrxela?” he boasted as he got back to his feet, generating more electricity from his hands.


The Likemind only responded with an aggravated growl before she tackled the Mastermind, digging her claws into the flexible parts of his armor. She effortlessly hoisted him over his head and threw him behind, out of the ship and hard onto the ground. She attempted to finish him off quickly, leaping after him with spikes emerging from her boots. The Mastermind quickly retaliated, shooting more electricity for a direct hit, not only stunning her, but causing her armor to fritz out and give him another opening. Before she knew it, she was kicked away, face-planting into the dirt.


“How are you even fighting like that?!” she sputtered as she spat mud and grass out of her mouth. “You flunked every level of combat training!”


“I may have picked up a few tricks here on Earth.” he answered. “Like THIS!”


The Mastermind created a sphere of electricity above his head, casting it toward his fellow Dominian. She managed to narrowly avoid it by activating rocket thrusters in her boots and darting to the side before shooting straight toward the ruler of Rottenheim. Unable to react in time, he found himself being dragged along the ground as she had a tight grip around his neck. But with his arms still available, he managed to struggle free and stop them by planting one claw into the ground, and using the other to slash at her face. She released him to cover her eye, slamming straight into the tree in the yard. It didn’t take long before both conquerors got back to their feet, now out for each other’s purple blood.

 

Inside, Mulka was making short work of the Mastermind’s minions, especially Marcus, who was still on vow against using his powers for the time. The only thing that worked, if briefly, was Claire focusing for long enough to lift the beast off the ground, though her nerves made it difficult to subdue him for long. Ellen attempted to blind the furry behemoth by going into shadow mode and wrapping herself around him, tightening her grip as much as she could, but Mulka simply grabbed her again. Using her as a flail, she was knocked right into Claire, sending them both flying back as he was now free.


“I got you guys!” Marcus shouted as he tried to catch them, only for their combined weight and force to knock him back as well.


The three groaned as they sat up, literally backed into a corner as Mulka stomped toward them. With them all fallen, a sinister grin grew on his face, as out of his harness he pulled out a tiny club that quadrupled in size as soon as he held it up. He snarled as he rushed toward them, preparing to finish them off. Marcus panicked, seeing his comrades in no position to continue fighting, and decided to break his vow to help them out. He punched the ground to create a wall of solidified magma in front of them and braced for impact, expecting the beast to effortlessly shatter through it…


But he didn’t. Instead, he stopped dead in his tracks, as the heat and glowing lava emitting from the wall made him freeze up in fear. Images flashed through Mulka’s mind of a time before the Likemind conquered his planet, when he made an offering for his local volcano, but used too much Tarasoline, causing a huge eruption. The memory caused Mulka to back away, much to the trio’s confusion. It was at this moment that Marcus realized he had an opportunity to prove himself useful for once, now that they had an advantage to press.. With the beast’s fear of heat discovered, Marcus looked at his own fist, then back at him with newfound determination.


“Alright, time to turn it up!” he announced as he stomped the ground, causing cracks to form beneath his boot, making their way to Mulka.


Lava shot out from the ground, causing the once fearsome beast to whimper like a frightened puppy. He backed away even further before looking toward Marcus, who had stood up and formed more lava in his hands before pounding his fist into one. Putting two and two together, Mulka realized the man was a living volcano, and one that was no longer dormant. Marcus shot a stream of magma at the beast, finally causing him to retreat as it instead melted through the floor. As Marcus ran off after him, Ellen and Claire finally regained their bearings, watching him leave with his newfound confidence.


“Hell yeah! Kick his furry ass, lava-brain!” Ellen rooted.


“Uh - Y-yeah, go Marcus.” Claire added, still shaken from what just happened.

 

Back outside, the two Dominians were still locked in a heated battle, both too stubborn to let the other think they’re better. The Likemind had managed to gain the upper hand, having extended one of her arms to wrap around the Mastermind’s head and force it down into the dirt. Just before she could act on it, however, she heard Mulka’s terrified cries as he ran out, smashing through one of the walls with a stream of lava behind him. In his panic, the Vumachian collided with the Tenasonic Doomsday Weapon, nearly knocking it over.


“MULKA! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!” the Likemind shouted, just before the Mastermind managed to finally overpower her. Before she knew it, she was flown against the weapon, which was now getting closer and closer to full charge.


The Mastermind grinned with confidence as he approached his injured opponent, charging electricity from his armor as she glared back at him. However, his satisfaction didn’t last long, as he noticed Marcus emerging from out of the hole in the wall.


“Hey, Mulka!” Marcus called out. “There’s more where that came from!”


And so, he jumped into the air, letting out an ecstatic shout as he stomped onto the ground full force. The ground beneath him shook before a geyser of lava suddenly erupted in front of him, headed right for Mulka - and the Tenasonic Doomsday Weapon.


“MARCUS, YOU MORON!” the Mastermind shrieked.


Marcus realized his mistake too late, as Mulka narrowly jumped out of the way, causing his stream of magma to instead hit the weapon. With all the energy it had been building up, it began glowing, sparking, and screaming with a siren, indicating it was in a critical state as the lava melted away its circuitry. And eventually… it died down, and everyone breathed a sigh of reli-

Once the dust cleared, the lair of the Mastermind was once again left in shambles, with both him and the Likemind still standing in the epicenter, miraculously surviving the explosion but still looking worse for wear. Marcus was also still standing, as Claire and Ellen emerged from the rubble behind them. He looked down at his boss, who was fuming with anger to an extent even he never witnessed before.


“Hey, b-”


“SHUT IT!” the Mastermind snapped. “FOR ONCE, JUST STAND BACK AND LET ME KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO YOU, YOU - YOU - YOU -!”


IDIOT!” the Likemind finished, punching the Mastermind over the head and knocking him down. “That weapon was going to have the whole universe at my fingertips! Even the Prime Mind would have begged for my mercy! Yet you and your stupid minions had to SCREW EVERYTHING UP!”


His anger actually subsided for once as he glanced back up, his eyes widened as he realized the trouble he was in. “Eerrrr… Speaking of the Prime Mind, I’m sure this can stay a secret between us… Right?”


“Oh, no, you better BELIEVE he’s going to hear about this!” she snarled. “Oohhh, and when he finds out you’ve been trying to conquer this planet behind his back, I’m sure he’s going to take great pleasure in torturing you!”


“Wait, weren’t you also buying that weapon behind his back?” Marcus pointed out. “‘Cuz you just said you were gonna use it to try and overthrow him too, right?”


The Likemind paused as she looked up at the Magman, now noticing her slip of the tongue in her anger. “I… uh, well… Well none of that matters to you! Point is you’re all screwed when he hears this little story!”


“Well, yeah, but you’re gonna have to tell your ‘Prime Mind’ that part of this story’s you ordering a real illegal weapon to use against him, right?” Marcus continued. “Y’know, unless he knew about that already.”


The Likemind realized they had just as much leverage against her, as it would be on her to provide proof, with something her people would likely consider even worse. With a frustrated growl, the chest piece in her armor glowed a bright pink before warping her back to the entry of her ship, deciding to flee empty handed.


“Fine. You inferior simpletons can have this one.” she conceded. “But if you cross me again I guarantee it will be the last mistake you ever make. MULKA! GET UP HERE!”


Sitting up and pushing some rubble aside, Mulka hurried over to his master, climbing aboard with some struggle due to being winded from the chaos. As soon as he got aboard, the main hatch of the Likemind’s ship shut, taking off into space with hyperspeed once it was a safe distance from the ground. The Mastermind shakily got back to his feet. Marcus, feeling proud of himself, decided to push his luck a bit further.


“So, how about that, boss?” he asked, making the conqueror shift his eyes toward him.


“Yeah, you did good there.” the Mastermind admitted… before immediately showing his anger again. “You also caused this mess in the first place, destroyed a very expensive and destructive weapon, and got my lair BLOWN UP FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME! So you’re still an idiot if that’s what you’re getting at!”


“...I’ll take it, boss.”


“Good! And while you’re at it, take this as well!” he said, forcing some tools into his hands. “The lair’s not going to repair itself!”


Marcus sighed, the pride he felt from him brief victory going away almost instantly, as he readied himself to get to work. From behind, Ellen and Claire came up to him, holding some equipment of their own.


“You okay, Marcus?” Claire spoke up, catching his attention.


“Oh yeah, totally fine.” he said. “What about you two?”


“Aside from being battered and bruised by a giant hairball, same.” said Ellen. “Now don’t tell me you’re gonna hog this job to yourself.”


“Oh - Uh, thanks, but, yeah, this is… My mess, after all.” he lamented.


“Well… For whatever it’s worth, you’re not alone.” Claire added, putting a hand on his shoulder as she came up to him.


“Hey, your mess actually got us out of a bigger mess.” Ellen pointed out. “Gotta be worth something, right?”


Marcus looked down at a puddle of lava before him, then back at his fellow minions. Their words helped to put his mind at ease, a genuine smile emerging on his face. “I guess so, yeah.” he replied. “Just gotta keep working on it ‘til I make smaller ones.”


“Now you’re thinking like a Mastermind.” Ellen remarked as she grabbed a broom.


“What’s that even mean?” Marcus asked.


“I dunno, I just made it up.” she admitted, as the three of them got to work to repair the lair… at least, what’s left of it..


END

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